I find I live life without getting too attached to anything. I find "outs" in every situation. I think to myself..."if I get something wrong at work, its ok, I'll just quit and find another job" If things aren't going too well with people I start distancing myself. I even think if I get to a point where I can't handle things anymore I can always "check out".


I get to a point where I think I just cant do this anymore. Maybe its the depression...

I wish I would go insane...I just am so tired of forcing myself to keep going...its really pointless. I don't get anywhere, barely keep my head above water. Anytime I think I'm getting there I get sucked under.

I wish God would just end it now, because I can't.

Depression

I suffer from depression and depersonalization. My husband thinks depression is the same as being depressed. Recently, Chris Benoit died (hubby's a wrestling fan) (should have thrown up a few flags) and he read that he had depression. He thinks that this is why he killed his family then himself. According to hubby...all people that go off the deep end and go on killing sprees did so because they had depression.

I think that is stupid.

Sure, with my depression I wanted to die myself...but honestly never had a thought about doing others in. Frankly depression pretty much keeps me focused on myself, my pains, my failures, my lack of desire to do anything. Seriously, if I find it takes too much energy to leave the house, let alone my bed...how likely would it be that I would have enough energy to actually take someones life????

I hate when people are so closed minded.


http://buzzdash.com/index.php?page=buzzbite&BB_id=25437&position=2&buzzbitesPage=0&listType=search_results&buzzbitesSort=hits_d&pSearch=depression&back_url=%2Findex.php%3Fpage%3Dsearch_results%26pSearch%3Ddepression%26buzzbites_page%3D0%26buzzbites_sort%3Dhits_d

horror stories

Anyone out there feel like they just don't measure up to other christians?

I feel like everyone else has it figured out. I feel like every time I get close, the rug get yanked out from under me.

Are there any christians out there? Am I the only 40 year old who totally screwed things up and just can't seem to get her act together?

Hell

My brother and I have decided to write a book on organized religion and Christians in general. Although we both believe in God, Jesus and all that jazz, we feel churches and other Christians have given true believers a bad name.

I personally worked for a church. (Notice the past tense) I have a question...If you are in church listening to the paster tell a story of something that happened to him...would you expect the story to be the whole truth? Would you be upset or let down to find out that minor details were blown out of proportion to better make his point?

Any stories of how you have been dissalusioned or let down? Let me know.